Insert 1: Why?

"A few weeks back, a patch of my hair fell off. 2 weeks ago, another patch fell off. A week ago, another. And then, by God's mercy, it stopped. Something in me has been realised. I cannot be in a place where I praise my hair. My hair CANNOT define my beauty. My hair cannot be the reason I look in the mirror and say, "Wow, I'm beautiful". That being said, I'm going to have to pray about this...but...I think I should shave my hair after high school. I'm going to cut it really short, and then later on, all of it. - 16 September 2020

This has been a nearly 2-year-long process. The desire to cut my hair began in 2020. Pieces of my hair had begun to break off during my matric year. I remember sobbing in the bathroom, fearing that I was going bald. I looked at myself in the mirror, and the question arose, "If you lost your hair, would you still see yourself as beautiful?"

After several visits to the dermatologist, it was concluded that the cause was excessive sun exposure to my scalp, and my hair would grow back. This is when I wrote the diary entry. This is when I decided that one day, I would cut all my hair off.

During 2021, there were days I strongly wanted to do it. I remember waking up one morning and my texting me that she had shaved all her hair off. I jumped off my bed and said, “I should do it today!”

But I didn’t. I lacked the courage.

I eventually concluded that the only way I was ever going to cut my hair was if I did it with somebody. Instead of facing it alone, we would experience the discomfort together and talk about the challenges.

God answered my request.

At the beginning of this year, a girl moved into a room I used to stay in. I was adamant I would be friends with whoever stayed in that room because I had gone through a lot there. Her name was Mpho, and we began talking. A few days later, she mentioned she had wanted to shave her hair for a long time, and I did too.

So, immediately, I looked at the calendar, and we agreed on the date:

16 April 2022.

“Haircut Day!” she said.

And so, the journey begins...