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One boring night, while I was supposed to be studying for a test, I procrastinated and decided to do something I had never done before. I decided to read reviews that people had written about their experiences at Home Affairs.
We have ALL had unpleasant experiences at Home Affairs, but imagine being enraged to the point of taking a few minutes of your life and writing a review! This was going to be interesting…
A reviewer writes, “This should be a minus 1 rating! Rude staff. Incompetent. Taking buddies in front. Waiting 4 hours only for them to close the door. No communication. No feedback.”
Another reviewer sounds distraught when he comments, ”Absolute shambles. If you don’t start queuing before 5am, or pay someone to do it for you, don’t even bother. You WILL not get helped as they only accept 100 people per day and close at 3pm. And don’t think collections are quick either. 4 hours minimum. STAY AWAY."
As I read more reviews, several adjectives were constantly repeated to describe the state of affairs at Home Affairs, ‘ the queues were horrendous’, and ‘ horrendous service’. ‘All I can say is pathetic’ ‘pathetic standards’, appalling, quite bad, VERY bad, disgrace, what a disgrace.
Yet, there is something funny about this Home Affairs situation. You see, South Africa has come up with its own tips and tricks that have been informally communicated among family and friends regarding how to survive Home Affairs visits. Therefore, I introduce to you:
The Home Affairs Survival Guide.
Step 1:
Get there unrealistically early! Arrive at 5 am to 6 am or even earlier.
Step 2:
Bring your own camping chairs, braai stand, snacks, and board games. You could probably have an entire social before being allowed to enter the premises. Download a few movies to watch, bring a couple of books, and even finish your assignments while standing there, maybe even your entire degree!
Step 3:
Once you get into the building, be patient. Remember, once you get out of the long queue outside there are more queues inside the building.
Never show the officials your irritation, that makes them less willing to help you. Remember, they’ve been dealing with moody clients all day; no one is particularly excited to go to Home Affairs. Therefore, if you unexpectedly pitch up with a smile and politeness, they will be way more willing to ensure that you get your documents.
Finally, the most important step...
Step 4:
Never EVER be optimistic. When you go to Home Affairs, you should expect disappointment. Don’t get emotionally attached to the process. Even if Steps 1-3 work, and you make it right to the front of the official, “Offline’ could be uttered at any moment. You could get there and be asked for documents you don’t have! And if that isn’t the case, load shedding can hit at any time.
This was brought to you by the Home Affairs Survival Guide, where our slogan is
“You might not leave with your passport, but at least you’ll leave with your Sanity.”