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According to psychology, when someone shares something painful
with you, you must listen to them.
You should never respond by telling a story of your own because that discredits
someone's pain and invalidates their feelings.
What if ...
Well,
what if sharing your story makes them feel better?
What if it reminds them that they will get through this,
that they will be okay,
that they are not alone?
Yet, we want to know.
What.
When.
How.
Why.
What to say to someone who’s grieving,
what not to say
What to say to someone who’s in pain,
what not to say
What to say to someone with a mental disorder,
what not to say.
When to reply to that text message
When not to reply- not too fast, not too slow
How to act at a formal dinner,
How not to act.
Why you should do this,
Why you should not do it.
Video after video.
Book after book.
We want to learn how to have better conversations.
How to succeed at life.
How to get a million dollars.
How to have the best Instagram page.
How to not fail
However,
when the situation that I have trained for comes,
I struggle to remember all I have learnt,
contained in the psychology books, talks, speeches.
I stay quiet,
afraid to say the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong tone,
afraid to hurt someone,
afraid to offend.
Because...
When you hurt, I want to know what to say.
When you call, crying, I want to know how to comfort you,
how to make things better,
how to make things right.
When the phone rings,
I want to know what we're going to talk about,
how to avoid the awkward pauses in between,
and when we both start to speak at the same time, I cringe.
It's like I'm in a movie,
how about I refuse to be myself
and you refuse to be you
for perfection?
How about we read from a script contained in some book,
and regurgitate words that mean nothing to us.
Yet, it remains...
I am human.
You are human.
_______
Dear friend, improvement and self-development are needed!
It's just that lately, I question the need to get things right all the time. For me, it's fearing that I will say something that will make someone feel worse. It's the need to get it all perfect.
However, there is One who got it all perfect.
And then He died so that all our mistakes and sins would be fully paid for, covered.
His grace is enough for you, for me, for us, for every single one of us.
Through life,
God gave you a unique personality, a heart, a soul, a body; you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Be your authentic self. Your unique face and personality come once in all of history.
We will never get another you.
A reminder:
The Bible already says it... 1 Corinthians 13 (Read it)
LOVE, be kind
and be patient with yourself as you go through this journey.
YANA
You Are Never Alone
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